Zhao Ming.
There's something wrong.
The laughter and the chords have disappeared, and there is only a dead silence; it is not the children of the Palin Club who sit behind the table, but rather a man, and it is not an old chord, but a big bag of snacks that have already opened. A bunch of students in white robes, holding an ancient violin, stood behind their backs, stunned.
I looked at this man, who was shaking his head, whispering something, and I had a lot of emotions in my heart, not a moment of hesitation, and I sat on the bench next to him.
He looked at me and I watched him.
His face was longer, but thin, and he went down like he had been squeezed.
I'll start by saying, "Man, where are you from?"
And he said to me, "I live in a school. Look at this. His teeth are all gone and replaced by a line of fine steel teeth.
"Are you a student?"
"No, I dropped out of school. I used to study at BS, and I couldn't go to college."
"What did you learn?"
"I studied history. What did you learn?"
"Guess."
"How can I guess so multidisciplinary?"
"So guess if I'm a literary or a scientific?"
"I'm guessing you're a literary scholar. Aren't you going to play in the future?"
I stopped and decided to lie.
"Yeah, I'm a literary student, and my specialty is anthropology. But I'm not interested in studying, and I love the play."
"Why do you like drama?"
"The play lets me release my personality, and I love acting."
The man took out a chain of keys, with only one key on it and a much worn card, and could not see where the pass or membership card was. I can feel it, my patience is being eroded, but I'm calm and I know how to talk.
"So where do you work now when you drop out?"
"I don't have a job, I have a place to live, I live in school."
"So how do you eat?"
"My parents get the relief, a thousand or two dollars a month, and the state keeps me."
"I want someone to keep me. It's so comfortable." It is true that I would really like to have someone to feed me, but there is something in me that refutes this idea, so I live in a paradoxical way. Dear readers, I can tell you that I'm getting curious about this man. To tell you the truth, I'm trying to help the children of the Palin Club, and that's what my main mission is now. I gave myself the task. But now, the task is mixed with a few different interests.
"Are you from Beijing? You don't deserve to be from Beijing."
What do I think of hearing that? Am I angry? No, I was wondering what experience and desire he had to say, but I felt that the topic should not continue. Ah, forget to mention that Beijing's autumn is unusually cold, but I'm wearing a lot of new stuff for the show. Just in time for the wind.
"You wear so little, aren't you cold?"
"It's not cold at all, my house is very close here, at the North Gate. And I'm wearing a coat. What's cold?" Yeah, he's wearing a windshirt, but it's thin, and it's just a single coat.
"What's the use of your coat?
He suddenly stood up, shook his clothes and showed me.
"My clothes are long and he can't breathe in."
Then a little light appeared before my eyes. And I stood up, and I crossed him to the front of the table, and I came out of the umbrella and stood in the sun.
"You see, I'm also a windsuit, and we're much longer than anyone. I'm telling you, I'm as long as you, and I can't stop the wind. You come over here, there's no sun on your side, you can't see." I zipped it up and looked him in the eye.
A man seems to be a little hesitant to stand up from his seat.
I kept staring at him. Of course I was panicking, and I knew I was lying to the kids. Once failed, like a clown.
And he stood up, and he came to me and pulled the zipper, and we compared. I can see we have the same length, but what's next? We have no reason to continue standing in the sun or to leave here. I'm thinking crazy, but I have no idea. At that point, he zipped his clothes and pulled a box of cigarettes out of his pocket, put them in his pocket and pulled them back.
"Let's go to the bathroom and have a smoke?" I'm still staring at him.
"You want to smoke? Here you can smoke!"
"It's too rude to smoke here. It's a public place. Besides, I want to go to the bathroom, too." I'm talking about moving the body towards public health.
"Wait, I'll take my things." He returned to hold the large package of snacks on the table in his arms and took one in his mouth.
So we went slowly along the runway to the front of the football field, and it was slow, and the sun was lazy on me, and I wore a lot, but the weather was cold and I blew a little bit, so I didn't sweat. I'm enjoying it again.
"Have you brought fire?"
"No, do you have a light?"
"I have a fire. Have you brought a cigarette?"
"I don't have a cigarette. Can I borrow one?"
"Fuck, you don't have a cigarette, you don't have a fire."
"I'm not ready to smoke today, but I've set up a dormitory of cigarettes and fire. I've met you. I'm happy.
"Okay, come on, take one."
"No, let's go to the bathroom."
"Why?"
"This is a place where people do their activities. It's not good, and once the ashes fall into the grass, what happens to security?
"What's security afraid of the ball? I'll go straight to the ground. What can he do to me?"
"But after all, it's not good, it's not civilized. Let's just go to the bathroom."
"What kind of civilization is uncivil?" That's all he said, but he put away the lighter. At that point, we passed a group of students who were playing in wheel slippers, and he said hi to a few girls, but did not receive a response.
So we went to the exit of the football field and I stopped.
"Let's smoke here and get the sun. I love it in winter."
"I like the sun too. Where are you going?" He sat in a cart by the door and opened the cigarette case towards me.
"I'll just sit on the floor." I sat down on the floor, I took one, I lit it, I smoked it, I closed my eyes and I enjoyed the sun.
And that's what I said. After a while of silence, I opened my mouth and closed my eyes.
"I lied to you. I'm not a literary student. I'm an engineering student. I'm in control."
Control what?
"Control of computers."
"Do you know how to configure computers?"
"No, I'm learning software, configuration that's hardware. What's going on?"
"Recently wanted to buy a computer and play games."
"I don't know the configuration of computers. I buy them all together, and I never make them." I'm dealing with computers, but I don't know anything about computers.
"Do you learn how to control, like drones?"
"Well, in that case, the controls I do are very similar to drones."
"Then this is a true professional contribution to the nation."
"That's not true. I don't like studying. I'm studying to avoid work." It is also true that I went to graduate school because I didn't want to work so early at first, and then I realized I didn't like the current profession, but I didn't know what to do. "At least you're still studying, and BH is much better than BS, and I really think BH students are real, not like BS, fake!
"I don't think BH is that good."
"When I dropped out of school, I said, "If you ever see me in this school again, I'll be on my knees again, and the students of the BS will be wearing masks and all these teachers and shit."
I was silent, I didn't know how to answer him, I couldn't even think of the right thing to do, and after a while he went on to say, "You see what our country's army does now, a bunch of costumes."
I can talk about this: "Now it's all about information wars, numbers of troops, times, centuries."
"Yeah, when you saw the Japanese war, what was the use of people? And let the Japanese do that." Then he got excited, and he said, "For 30 years, you've been a slave to the land; how many flesh and blood have you lost to dust?" Having said that, his face was filled with tears and his nose was swollen from his nose, and he swept it with his tongue, and he wiped another one with his shirt and cufflinked his head.
Again, I can only say, "Wait a minute, I'll go to the bathroom and we'll buy a pack of cigarettes."
And he turned around and he said, "Buy what, you can smoke me."
"I always smoke you, no good."
"What's wrong, I think you're great. You're from the South?"
"I am Guizhou."
"I don't think you're from the North."
"How can you tell?"
"You southerners, if you can hide it, you can't even know who's messing it up. It's not like the North. It's so big and soft. Of course they're not Beijing people, they're Beijing people, but there's too many foreigners coming to Beijing these years. No, I'll bring you a bottle of wine! Go listen to a song, group around, good! Pure rock, hear the lid up, just a sip, see a nice guy next to him, give it to him, don't you know? In the past, the Peking people only play real, non-false, white wine, whatever it is, pass it on to him, straight away, and drink it to the mouth." And when he said that he was exaggerating, "What's wrong with a brother smoking?
"Well, then I'll go to the bathroom and sit around and see where I'm going."
"Shall I go to the bathroom with you?"
"Okay."
"No, you go ahead. I'll wait for you at the door. You call me when you're done."
I thought, "What kind of life is he?" How much time did he say? I can't believe it. Why not? I don't have a reason to doubt. I like to believe, not doubt.
After going to the toilet, he moved out of the sun to the back of the table with an umbrella and played with a three-colour basketball, and I dragged a chair over.
"I just got here and I saw this basketball, and nobody wanted it, and I just played." As he had just finished, two boys in basketball uniforms walked in and looked at him without opening their mouths.
But he said, "Is this your basketball? Do you want to go back and I'll give it to you?"
The two boys were face-to-face, did not move, did not squeak, and he played in his hand two times and threw the ball at the boy close to him, who was apparently scared but left with his partner.
This time he said, "You know why I'm here?" I don't know. Shake your head. And he went, "I'm just looking at the girls in pretty clothes." He refers to the recruitment of new girls in cos clothes and clothes.
I shook my head: "I don't like it, they're too thick, they've all changed their faces."
"I don't care. I think they look good. Come and have a look at them."
So I was a little disappointed, and I thought the mask and makeup were the same thing to him, so it didn't really matter to him?
I haven't thought much, and he said something I didn't expect: "I don't think the women who were raped were completely innocent."
"How can you think that?"
"If a woman doesn't want to fuck you, you won't succeed in any way."
"Does a lot of rapists first use violence to deprive the victim of resistance, then rape him, rape him and let the woman jump?" I'm really in a bit of a hurry. I don't like to argue with people. I feel like I can talk him out of it.
"Do you know Lee Tianichi who raped the waitress?"
"I know. Sea-star silver gun.
"I don't think the waiter's a good thing, you know? Li must have given her some money, and then she's half-pushed, and then she doesn't think it's enough to go on blackmailing."
This version of the story has been circulated since the year of the incident, and I cannot but understand that so many years have passed since then.
"I don't know."
He probably realized my mood was down, and he changed the subject, "Did you talk about your girlfriend?"
"No." I lied again.
"I was up early, walking around BH school, seeing a girl there studying English, and I went up and asked her, "What are you doing? 'She said she was studying English, and I said, 'English is good.'
The next day, I went to that place at that time, where she studied English. Since then I've been there every morning and she's here every morning.
About a week later, I asked her, "Sister, can I lick your feet? 'Sister said no, I asked why. She said it was bad. I looked at my sister, she had a bit of teeth, her upper lip was a little bit up, it looked sexy, like I was waiting for a kiss, and I kissed her with my sister and she didn't resist. I asked my sister, "Did you kiss anyone? She said no.
I told my dad about her. My dad asked me if you knew who she was. I say who. My dad says it's the best BH student, especially famous. I'm so proud. BH's the best learner is my girlfriend, you know?
It's been another month, and I invited my sister to my house while my parents were gone. I say this is my house, and then we talk, and then we do it in bed."
He came here and cried and continued.
"After that I found out she was a virgin, you know? I can't believe I ruined a virgin like that. I haven't had sex with a virgin since." He cried more, and this time he did not treat tears and snots in his face with his tongue and cufflinks.
Crying for a while, he calmed down and asked me, "Why don't you find a girlfriend?"
"There are reasons in all respects, and the most important thing is not to be found." That is true.
"Well, don't look at all these women. He looked at me and said, "Many women in bars can sleep with you for a drink."
I've lost my interest in talking to him, trying to find an excuse to leave, and he's saying, "Do you believe that guy is Pakistani?" He showed me a man who was coming towards the Iron Gate.
"How do you know?"
"You watch," and he shouted, "Bro, are you from Pakistan?" The man looked at him, and he said, "Yes," and he asked if he was going to read BH, and then he asked what he was learning at BH, and the Pakistani student went back to English, and he didn't understand, and I didn't understand, the conversation was over, and he saw the Pakistani student walking out of the iron door, and he suddenly said a line with his hands, and the Pakistani said the same thing 10 times.
He looked at me proudly, "That was a greeting between Muslims, and he had to reply to me because God blessed him".
I was surprised, "You speak Arabic?"
"I speak French, Spanish. Do you know what my favorite French film is?"
Of course I don't know, but I don't really want to talk about movies: "How do you learn Arabic?"
"When I was in elementary school, I had a friend of mine, who was always against me. One time he yelled at me, it was awful, which means what happened to the Han people, and I hit him. His mother came to school the next day, and my mother went to school. My mother said your son's mouth was dirty, and he called my son. And then it went away, and I didn't lose it, but since then I didn't like Muslims and thieves.
At that point, two girls were walking by, one of them wearing coloured clothes and several braids. He shouted to the girl, "you play rock right?" and the girl looked at him with a smile and was dragged away by her companion, and he shouted, "rock music is good!" and said, "This is the girl."
What kind of girl? I slowly felt sorry for him.
When the wind blew, he sneezed, and I asked him, "Do you have cold medicine?"
"Don't take your pills, go back to sleep."
"Then you have to feel like you're going back to bed, have a glass of water, it's too cold here, you're wearing less, and you'll catch a cold."
"My house is not far from here. I'll be right back. What time is it?"
I looked at the phone. It's faster than midnight.
He asked me, "Don't you have lunch?"
"I'll eat with my classmates. Don't you? Don't you have lunch?"
His eyes were filled with tears, and he said with tears of similar grief: "So I feel like a dog now, hungry to eat, sleepy to sleep."
"Can't enjoy life?" I can't enjoy life.
"What the fuck does it mean?"
"How do you go to music parties?"
"Go on foot, car, bus, far away, straight east."
And all of a sudden he said, "You have to trust my friend!"
"Okay, shall I sweep you or shall you sweep me?"
"My phone's not with me. It's dead. Put it in the house.
Microlinks, found, add friends.
"That's me, Rock mad dog, Rock Mad Dog."
"What's your name? True name. If you don't want to tell me, you can give me an alias."
"My father's last name is Hu, and my last name is Hu, and my name is Hu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu, Zun Zhu Zhu, Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu, Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu, Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu, Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu, Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu, Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu, Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu, Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu Zhu, Zhu Zhu Zun
"Okay, I sent you my name.
"Then when I get home and agree to your friend, it's too late. Go eat."
"That's right, don't go to those girls all the time."
"Why?"
"They're all decent people. You'll scare them."
"Where did I go wrong?"
I can't answer that. I've always been sarcastic about both words, so when I'm talking to a friend, it must be ironic that my friend knows that I say "decent," but he doesn't know that he's serious and I can't answer.
He went on to say, "Why am I scaring them? How can they be afraid of me?"
I can't answer that either. I want to tell her because they're them, so they're afraid of you, but can he understand what I mean? I'm not sure, like just now, that I have no explanation for the pleasure. It's really boring to talk like this, but it's fun at first, but that's all.
But he's not entangled, he's not asking. It's easy for me. It's not natural to start with purposeful chats, and when they disappear, they don't have to take care of each other's feelings. This is what I have enjoyed, and I will not be rude.
"All right, then go home and rest. I'm going to eat."
"Go on."
When I went to dinner with my classmates, I met him, and he was talking to a bunch of girls in wheel slippers, but it looked like he was the only one talking. He saw me, he Noded at me, and I waved. Well, one of those girls I know.
So we just left.
In two days, he agreed to my friend's application, nothing.
Half a month later, he sent me a message, "What's up? When will I get here? I've got hard China. Please smoke."
I reply: "The recent outbreak of a new coronary outbreak has resulted in several positive cases in Changping District, where the school has been closed and it is estimated that it will take a long time to unsealed."
And he said, "Oh, forget it."
I lied again that the new coronary epidemic was serious and that Changping District was positive, but not as serious as the closure of schools.
After another six months, I went to the school road to rehearse the play, remember him, text him, phone him, talk to him, and he didn't reply.
Not the next day either.
It's almost New Year's Eve, and when he was at a party with his classmates, he was caught stealing alcohol at a bar in the Haydam district.
I remember him again, and his last circle of friends stayed on 29 October 2021.