Interviewee: zaoyi | 77-year-old girl
I want to feel the end result.
Win or lose.
A little girl.
He Fa: From the entrance to the theater until now, five days from the end of the show, share your heart and your journey.
zaoyi: I wanted to play when I had to choose an actor.
Yellow Sky: What was the impulse to get you downstairs to film a video?
zaoyi: Brother Fat recorded one, and it's ridiculous. I said I'm going to go to the bathroom and I'm recording one. I didn't mean to say it so many times, but I was so nervous, I tried to delete it all, and then I thought it didn't seem funny, it wasn't ridiculous, and it didn't happen. Starting with the recording of "good tension and tension", I have been told countless times, and when I'm in a state of adjustment, I'm in a state of adjustment.
Yellow heaven: Who is it that you are attached to in this play? Dreaming, howling, or all the characters that went up the roof.
zaoyi: It may follow the course of the script, and I must be attached.
Zhang Shaohua: What did you say about the little girl being an observer and watching everyone in this play?
zaoyi: Maybe I think little girls like me are chameleons. She would respond to each individual in a way that she understood as acceptable to the other party or that she would abandon herself completely and then say what the other party wanted to hear and flatter herself.
Zhang Sauhua: Or did she see anything other than herself in a position where the little girl had never come down from the roof?
zaoyi: Look at everyone, but I can't tell you how everyone is.
Zhang Sauhua: Or that little girl knew she was watching, but she saw nothing.
zaoyi: She was selfish and she saw a lot of herself.
Shaohua: What happened on the day of the show?
zaoyi: She's weird, her voice keeps changing, and I'll have to stay with you until the last two times, and she says it's completely different, and I think it's right.
duration
04:31
"Howling on the ceiling" interview contribution-zaoyi
A 77-year-old.
He Fa: Do you think you're surprised that you finally got into the role of little girl? Because little girls should have the highest number of interviews.
zaoyi: When I played, I felt the dream of an attack on this character, and he was going to attack such a food-eating crowd of such a holler, and constantly changing her audience. While I've been feeling this kind of criticism, I can't perform well if I just feel his sarcasm about the role, so I'm going to take myself into a festivities, and I feel what I have to depend on, not on myself. I am constantly attached to one person or to one mind, and I have no self at all.
And this role carries a lot of malice, including men's demands on women's dress, the first to wear Lolita's dress, as he wrote in his script, as if there was an imagination of women, as if you were going to act like an ornament, and I don't know what Lolita culture really means, as if it was a decorative decoration.
He Fa: How do you understand this 77?
zaoyi: I started by dreaming about his ideas. I don't really think I want to play, I want to work, I want to be an observer, I want to write, like I want to do my job, and this is just one way I'm going to see this play, the whole play, and I'm a part of it, and it rolls over on me. I still want to see the play. Sometimes I may be in that play, I see the relationship between me and the play, I see the relationship between others and the play, but I don't really mean it.
He Fa: What do you see as an audience?
zaoyi: I saw everyone play for a month. Everyone's different.
He Fa: What's the difference between you didn't get into this play in Coco House?
zaoyi: It's even more scary, not knowing what you're doing.
He Fa: You said you wanted to see more, but you didn't see more, you saw more yourself.
zaoyi: I hid in the role.
He Fa: What do you see?
zaoyi: Everyone is changing.
He Fa: I also see that everyone is changing.
zaoyi: How can you tell whether you see what you see or who you see? Li Yue, for example, I was initially biased against him because I thought he was always fake, but then I found out he had a way to play. This whole process, from his first day here to his last, is a whole scene that I think is very coherent.
He Fa: Yeah, well, it's not about you playing the little girl. What do you see?
zaoyi: Then I think I may have seen a entanglement between myself and the role.
He Fa: Don't you see yourself?
Zhang Shaohua: I think it's a little off, and it's like you have a preset, and then you've been using that preset to lead him to your preset, which doesn't seem like an interview with her.
He Fa: I was inspired, and I wanted to hear what she meant by "better perspective", but I didn't hear it.
Zoyi: Of course it's in this play, and I don't know what I'm doing right now when I hear about you.
Zhang Shaohua: What do you see from your perspective, when you say you're going to play this little girl's role and you're going to look into it?
Zaoyi: I don't know what I saw. I have seen the relationship between everyone and their role, as well as the misplacement of them and their role.
Wong: Do you have any emotional ups and downs in the process, because you're also a theater worker and you're familiar with everyone?
zaoyi: At first, I was saddest at the fact that Sam wanted to be a little girl, and after I became a little girl for no reason, I felt that I had some kind of harm to her, but I felt that it was my pleasure to hurt her. I feel strange. I was telling Fat two days before the show that I didn't think I'd be new, and I didn't think it would be fun, and he said you wouldn't be.
He Fa: Did I say that? How could you not act?
zaoyi: Yes. But it's precisely because you said it, and I think it's only the final act, and I'm right, and I'm very strong about it.
He Fa: Why did you stomp that day?
zaoyi: You analyzed me for intent, but I don't think I meant it. I've hurt my ligature many times, and I'm not wearing high school shoes and slippers.
He Fa: I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.
zaoyi: I also became selfish when I was so angry that I couldn't go to bed that night. And then I may in a way have unleashed this anger on people who should not. I don't even know my anger.
He Fa: What kind of anger?
zaoyi: Why can't I just walk around that night?
Yellow Sky: This anger is normal. How does it feel that our interview is being analyzed?
He Fa: It's too familiar.
zaoyi: This has caused me to defend too much, and I feel like I'm still defending, even though I'm still half drunk.
A 77-year-old girl.
Wong: You basically need a bottle of wine now?
zaoyi: No, I'm really happy today, I'm really happy, I've had an inspiration after drinking, and then I'm in a taxi, and I'm writing it, and I'm sending it to 42. I think Vincent gave me a great deal of encouragement, because I felt sick when I heard my howls the other day, and I heard my howls, and I felt like I did have the Red Guard kind of thing, and I thought I did have the selfish, self-righteous kind of thing, and I remember that I did.
He Fa: Huh? Then you could really discriminate against the Red Guard.
zaoyi: I may have discriminated against the Red Guards, and I don't know what the Red Guards are like, and Vincent said to me that if I could find a way to fight, I thought it would be funny to hear me cry, and I went into narcissism. It's Vincent who says if I can open up to this level, and there's a string missing in my head, I'm very committed to behavioral art.
So today I wrote it down when I had an idea in my head.
I think I've been blocking my expression, which is the most painful thing I've ever felt, but I'm still afraid to write it down, and I feel like I'm in the best shape of my childhood, and I can write anything I want, I can write anything, and I keep writing, but I can't write it down because I have so many obstacles. I think I have a lot of ideas, and I have a lot of people in my head who live with me every day, they talk every day, and I do all kinds of things in my head, but I can't express them, and I can't write them out like a dream.
Or that I'm too specific to the experience and feelings of writing, which I think is really unappreciated, and what I'm saying in my definition is really unappreciated.
Zhang Shaohua: zaoyi do you know why you act like a 77-year-old girl? That's too much, the kind of impediment to expression, to self-analysis.
zaoyi: I was writing all the time in my childhood, just writing, and then people would look through, and people would laugh, and the book would come back to me, and I thought it might be...
He Fa: Well, you realized that when you were 23, and when Picasso was 81, you realized that you were 63 years ahead of Picasso.
zaoyi: I have a lot to feel, including even talking about some of the obstacles to her profession. In particular, when studying literature, teachers keep telling us what literature may look like, even if it sucks, what it may look like, in fact, in professional reading, it's more afraid to create. But at the same time I can't stop the voices of the people in my head, and I even begin to wonder if I am schizophrenic.
He Fa: Is there any doubt?
YO: I find a habit in your speech is that once you have said your thoughts, you will find a definition, both right and wrong, and you will define yourself immediately.
zaoyi: Yeah, I think it's actually my status.
Yellow Sky: I think it's nice to keep it quiet for a while, so don't rush to define yourself.
zaoyi: I think what I'm saying is a relatively relaxed state.
He Fa: Like I just said, she'll be depressed, and she'll keep trying to define the writing process.
zaoyi: Sometimes I write it up and think it's a nightmare and I have to delete it right away, sometimes.
He Fa: She's been depressed, so she's looking for a definition, which is particularly important, without which she would go crazy. I don't analyze. I expose myself. I never analyze anyone.
zaoyi: It's so nice to be exposed.
W: Do you think the Howler is a drama or a behavioural art?
Zoeyi: I think it's all about the fact that everyone has to do something together. For me it's probably unlikely to be drama.
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